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When I teach infant massage, I usually do a
little relaxation exercise with parents before they touch their babies.
I have them put their hands on their hearts, then breathe into their hearts
and think about what they want their babies to know--all the unspoken devotion
they feel--and to visualize that coming through their hands. When they do
that, the babies become still immediately. Babies have an innate wisdom;
they know exactly what people feel, and they respond to it.
A dance occurs between the caregiver and the baby. The baby stills and focuses, which in turn feeds the mother to focus and still herself even more. Then they start communicating nonverbally through smiling, cooing, and the aromas they exude. All of this deepens the bond. The two feed off of one another. How can you not respond to a baby that is smiling? It just melts your heart. I am a registered nurse with ten years of hospital experience. One common denominator among the people I saw in the hospital was that they all wanted to be taken care of. They all wanted to be touched--not just given chemical medications and hooked up to machines. This is not what life is about. That realization got me interested in infant massage, because I felt that somewhere along the line, most of these people didn't get the nurturing touch they needed. It made sense that giving this was important early on in a person's life, not because of need or pain or sickness, but so that we each can know that we are special. During my four years as an obstetrical nurse, I saw how traumatic it was to be born. I saw that the initial touch experience common in hospitals is intrusive, invasive and painful to babies. In 1986, I became certified to teach by the International Association of Infant Massage. In 1991, I took further training and began to teach through the WINDO (Women in Need of Drug-free Opportunities) project of AODP (Alcohol and Other Drugs Program). At that time I trained with a woman who had experience with moms who had used drugs and babies that were drug-affected. The Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine has amassed a great amount of research on the effects of touch--beginning with the effects of massage on premature babies, and on those exposed to cocaine. They found that babies who were touched and fed the same food as those who were not touched gained weight 33% faster and cut their hospital stay by an average of ten days. At $1,000 a day, this saved $10,000 in hospital costs per baby. This started other research on the relationship between touch and the immune system, neurological growth, respiratory processes, digestion and elimination. Now the Institute is researching touch as it affects all kinds of disease processes. I have found that babies who are massaged sleep better at night, are calmer and are better able to handle stress. Massage also aids elimination and reduces colic. Children who are touched and massaged develop better motor and communication skills. They are more trusting in general, and bond better with their parents and peers. This helps mothers to feel more empowered and confident as parents, because they know how to calm their babies. My experience at AODP with mothers who used drugs during pregnancy demonstrates that the calmer the mother is, and the more present she is with her baby, the better able she is to meet her baby's needs on all levels. The massage is as relaxing for the parent or caregiver as for the baby. I have also done a little teaching of foster parents through the department of Social Services. For severe genetic disorders and medically fragile infants, massage can be crucially important. Mothers to whom I have taught infant massage tell me that they understand their baby's preverbal language better, and that as their children grow they want to continue to be touched--for pure contact, for relaxation or to go to sleep at night. As the children get older, they often ask their mothers to massage their head, neck and shoulders when they get headaches, rather than take pain relievers. Research has shown that children who are massaged are more nurturing and gentler with their friends. Babies understand us. Their intelligence is much higher than we think. I show a video to moms at AODP called "Babies Know More Than You Think" by a psychologist named David Chamberlain, Ph.D. The video based on his practice shows that many adults remember their babyhood through what is called "cellular memory." When babies cry they are not always uncomfortable in the moment. They might be recalling a memory from their birth or prenatal life. Babies have been shown to respond to music they heard in utero more than other music. They know and respond to the voices of people who are familiar to them more than the voices of strangers. One young child described details of the appearance of the inside of a house where his mother had lived when she was pregnant with him, and the details of a conversation his mother had there. None of this had ever been discussed or described to him after his birth. These testimonies point to a different type of memory that could be explained as either cellular or neurological. A fetus's memory of what was going on outside the womb can only be explained as what is commonly referred to as out-of-body awareness, much like what people describe when they recall seeing themselves in surgery or after a near-death experience. A mom came to my office once with a baby who was screaming from what she thought was colic. Generally I don't touch the babies, because the bonding experience is for the parents and caregivers. This mother would massage her baby but was really scared, so I asked if I could hold the baby. I stroked the baby's stomach and abdomen, and she let out a fart. Her belly softened, and she instantly stopped crying. She looked at me and then started smiling at me as if to say, "Thank you for doing that!" Being an instructor allows me to point out how babies are responding to touch. Moms are then able to observe what is going on. For instance, I may see that the baby's leg has just relaxed, or that the baby is now looking at the mom rather than a picture on the wall. Sometimes a mother doesn't realize this until it is pointed out. Then all of a sudden they feel proud of themselves. Many people just do things to babies without noticing how it affects them. 
When I teach a group of caregivers with babies, the group members feed off of each other. They give each other support about parenting, share experiences and observe each other. Some of the classes have continued meeting on their own--to get together for a childcare exchange where moms can talk about common everyday concerns, experiences, stresses and solutions. Babies also love to interact with each other. They look at each other, gurgle, coo and reach out with their hands to touch each other. They socialize like we do--even though we often don't give them the opportunity. Babies need to socialize with other babies and small children. They share communication and develop strong loving bonds with each other. If a young toddler walks into a room where an infant is present, that infant automatically wants to communicate. It recognizes the kid energy. A baby would much rather socialize with someone close to their own age than with adults. They have fun together.
My mother told me everything--that I was the product of an affair outside her marriage, and that she didn't want to be pregnant with me. First she went to a doctor who inserted something into her cervix, but it didn't work. Then she took an herbal preparation, and that also didn't work. Another time she intentionally moved heavy furniture in hopes that she would abort. It didn't happen. Somewhere along the line in my therapy, I finally understood spiritually that God intended me. That was what was most important. I needed to go through what I did for some reason, but as long as I stayed attached to God I would be okay.
Lillian Cohn, RN, has had a private massage practice since 1980, and has been involed with infant massage and perinatal education since 1986. She is currently working as an RN, a case manager at Mendocino Department of Social Services, In Home Support Services. There she helps elders and adults with disabilities to stay safe and independent at home. 
was established in 1992 by Tiffany Field, Ph.D., at the University
of Miami School of Medicine. TRI is dedicated to the study
of the effects of touch at all stages of life, and to demonstrate its benefits
to the medical community.
The TRI website at http://www.miami.edu/touch-research contains citings for the following (partial) list of benefits of touch and massage therapy: Decrease in length of labor, childirth pain and anxiety, reduction in perinatal complications, facilitation of weight-gain in preterm infants, improvement of neonatal performance on the Brazelton scale, improvement in sociability and soothability of babies, improvement in sleep patterns in babies and children, heightening of alertness and cognitive performance in children, positive alterations in the immune system, reduction of pain, reduction in stress hormones, alleviation of anxiety and depression, reduction in aggression, improvement in eye contact, positive affects on asthma, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, autism, eating disorders, skin conditions, diabetes and headaches.
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abortion
attempts. I had experienced times when I didn't want to be alive. Once
I accessed that information inside myself, many issues started to clear,
even though I had not been told details by any one.
